The Tequila Monster is an alcohol-induced hallucination that occasionally appears to harass the drunken, encouraging them to drink more. Little is known about the Tequila Monster. When hallucinated by Steve, the Tequila Monster appears as roughly the same size as a human, bipedal, with a long tail. It is furry, primarily purple in color with blue spots, red eyes, claws, and a white belly. It has been seen wearing a simple tan sombrero.

After initially expressing a drunken desire to kill the Tequila Monster with a broken vodka bottle, Steve apparently became friends with it. It has advised him to purchase $500 of fantasy knives off of eBay, which Marten ultimately saw the reasoning behind.

It is possibly related to, or the same creature as, the Beast of Bourbon.